Value: Many women cry in relationships, in marriages, and even after failed relationships and marriages; you hear them say, “I cook, I clean, I sacrifice, I work myself out just to please you”.
A lot of them will say “Am I not attractive anymore?” “Why doesn’t he love me anymore?” “What’s wrong with me?” “The other women out there, are they better than me?” These are few questions women like asking themselves whenever their men start acting funny.
Not as if we men don’t hear your cries or feel your pains but the truth is, no matter what you do, no matter the sacrifices that you make for us, no matter how beautiful you are as a woman; we will never see your worth/value, not until we lose you. I know women will be asking themselves “BUT WHY” So therefore I must enlighten you about the reasons behind our (men’s) actions below;
1. Some Men Are Emotionally Immature:
Not all men are emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. As most of them are in relationships based on s*xual appeal, infatuation, societal pressure, peer pressure, etc.
Emotionally immature men are usually unaware of their partner’s feelings and as such this makes them devalue the efforts of their partners.
Ways to identify Emotionally Immature men;
√ Men who struggle to talk about their feelings.
√ Men who do not talk about the future.
√ Men who do not like to compromise.
√ Indecisive men; they do not know what they want.
√ Men who are fond of comparing you with other women such as their mothers, sisters, friends both male and female, and including women on screen.
√ Men who are defensive at all times.
√ Men who are selfish and they hold grudges.
√ Men who are usually irresponsible with money; when this occurs and their partners try to advise them, they become defensive and label their partners “Nags”.
2. Some Men Are Ego-centric Known As “egotism”:
Egotism is defined as the drive to maintain and enhance favorable views of oneself and generally features an inflated opinion of one’s features and importance distinguished by a persons amplified vision of one’s self and self-importance.
These are men who are blinded by their egos and are not willing to share and express their feelings.
A lot of men believe that their ego is self-esteem but this is false because there is a thin line between ego and self-esteem. This category of men will never value you.
Ways to Identify Egotistical Men;
√ Men who discusses about himself a lot.
√ Men who praises himself and every effort he makes in the relationship.
√ Men who don’t take or listen to your advice
√ Men who criticize you often despite your efforts.
√ Men who are jealous but pretends not to be.
3. Fear Of The Unknown;
Most men exhibit a form of self-denial when it comes to expressing their feelings to their partners because they believe, think, feel or assume that their partners will take advantage of their feelings towards them.
However, it is normal to have a short term fear of emotions at the first stage of the relationship but when it becomes a long term fear, it becomes a problem in the relationship.
4. The Family Of The Man:
Charity they say begins at home, It is normal to give what you have and it is also normal not to be able to give what you don’t have and what you have no clue about.
Some men grew up in unhappy homes, where their fathers treated their mothers badly, while some grew up in homes where love, emotions, and care were not expressed by their parents and family members in general.
Now when most men who grew up in such homes and families find themselves in a relationship, they find it difficult to express their feelings thereby devaluing and torturing their partners emotionally.
5. Men Who Are Pressurised By His Peers:
Peer pressure can be both negative and positive, however, the negative peer pressure is usually stronger than the positive.
Most men cheat on their partners just to impress their friends so that they could continuously be seen and respected as “Bad boys” or”Players”.
This set of men always want to show off to their friends that they are the “Man of the house” or the “Man in the relationship”.
If we the men can come to realize our flaws and try to work on them, it will help improve the way we treat our partners and as such, learn to value the love, emotions, efforts, and feelings of our partners, no matter the challenges on the way.