So your boyfriend said he needs space, but how are you supposed to respond if you aren’t sure what he means? Whether you just started dating or have been together long-term, it’s still nerve-wracking when you hear him say he wants space.
Luckily, you can still support your boyfriend without making him pull away even more.
Keep reading to learn what you should say to your boyfriend and how you can respect his need for space.
Avoid immediately jumping to conclusions. It’s normal for a guy to want space in a relationship.
Just because your boyfriend asked for space doesn’t mean that he wants to break up or move on.
Unless he gave you some indication he was upset or unhappy, he may just think your relationship is moving a little too fast or that he doesn’t get enough time for himself.
Keep an open mind when he brings it up since it may not be the end of the world.
Getting space in a relationship allows you to develop your other relationships, gives you time for your personal goals, and helps you appreciate the time you get to spend with your boyfriend.
Ask him how much space he needs. Finding out what he wants prevents you from crossing his boundaries.
While some guys may want to cut off contact completely, your boyfriend may just want some more time to himself or to spend with friends.
Clarify how much space he’s looking for so you get a better idea of what he expects. “How much space should I give you to be the most helpful right now?” “What do you need from me so I can help you out the best?” “What does this mean for how we normally communicate?”
Express your feelings and needs. Your needs and emotions are just as important as his in your relationship.
Even though your boyfriend is the one asking for space, you should still tell him what you need to feel fulfilled. Use “I” statements to talk about how you’re feeling so it doesn’t seem like you’re blaming him for anything.
Explaining how you’re feeling makes him more receptive and may help keep him close. “I feel confused because I cherish our quality time together and I don’t want to lose it.” “I look forward to talking to you each day so I feel sad that I won’t be able to reach out.” “I feel lonely when we’re apart, and I just need some security to make sure we’re okay.”
Tell him you’re there for him.
He’ll appreciate that you support him if he needs it. Even if you can’t solve his problems, you can still be there if he asks for your support.
You shouldn’t try to force yourself into helping him out, but put out the offer so he can reach out when he needs to. “I know you need some space, but I’m just a call away if you need to chat.”
“I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk.” “I’m always here to support you, so don’t be afraid to ask.”
Set a time frame if he wants a longer break.
Choosing when to end a break keeps you from waiting around for him. If your boyfriend wants more time and space apart, pick a length of time to get back together and talk.
It might just last a week or he may need a month or two. That should give him enough time to decide what he wants.
“Can you text me in 1 week and let me know how you’re feeling then?” “Let’s talk again in a few weeks and we can catch up.”
“Do you think a month is enough time? Can you check in with me after that?”.If he doesn’t want to pick an end date, it might mean that he’s trying to move on. Remember that you deserve someone who respects your time and wants to be with you.
Give him the space he asked for.
Respect his requests so he doesn’t push you further away. Follow all of the guidelines your boyfriend set no matter what you agreed on.
If it means that you have to go no-contact and cut off communication completely, then follow through with it.
He’ll appreciate that you’ve listened to what he needs so he can work on himself. Chasing after your boyfriend when he asks for space can make him pull further away.